When I was married (I’m divorced) one of the most aggravating things that would happen when I had a “beef” is that my wife would counter with, “Yeah, well once you…” and she would then list mistakes I’ve made in the past that may, or may not, be relevant to my complaint, but nevertheless negated any credibility I might have had to have a beef in the first place.
Make sense? It does if you’ve been married. I’m sure that I did the same thing, I just don’t recall (isn’t selective memory fun?).
To be honest, I hear that dynamic from couples, between colleagues at work, with friends at barbeques, with my mother, my brothers, my kids…and in politics.
A candidate or a pundit will say or do something shocking or controversial and when the opposition gathers their torches and pitchforks, rather than stand accountable, the response is, “Yeah? Well, you Democrats (or Republicans) did the same thing…etc, etc, etc…”
A very good friend of mine, with whom I don’t agree on much politically, brought an article to my attention where a food pantry, owned and run by devout Christians, offer to pray with everyone who comes in for food. The article pointed out that because of this religious premise Federal government inspectors could not appropriate federally subsidized food to the pantry.
The blogosphere immediately turned this into a Liberal/Conservative conflict. I read a thread where someone said, “Liberals want to take God out of everything!”
A liberal responded, “Conservatives want to make everything fit their idea of morality.”
“How about the time conservatives shut down a Planned Parenthood office….?” came another and that was countered with “Liberals do this every time….!”
My friend and I discussed this because we are both fed up with finger pointing and he asked me, “Why can’t these incidents stand on their own rather than become part of everything liberals or conservatives do wrong?”
Coincidentally, the very next day I was talking to someone about Rush Limbaugh calling a young woman a “slut” and this person fired off, “How come liberals want to take Limbaugh off the air, but it’s okay when Bill Mahr calls Sarah Palin the ‘c’ word? Why is it always liberals who have to censor conservatives?”
My response was equally agitated. ”Yeah? How come Reverend Wildmon and his Coalition For Better Television have been trying to take off every program that contains anything they don’t like for 30 years? They tried to get me off the air for playing a phony faith-healer on Saturday Night Live!”
I caught myself, but only after my rant was finished.
What if I had said, “Freedom of Speech comes with risks. We must uphold the rights of people to speak their mind and we must also uphold the rights of others to disagree and protest. If lawsuits become involved because of slander or abuse then we must trust our courts to uphold justice.”
It won’t be easy, but I say “Let’s give it a try!” Unless you’re going to be obstinate and narrow minded again, just like you always are!
